No, that someone isn’t me; I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I had one (and I’d be astounded if I could afford the property taxes in any case), beyond flip it for a pile of money. All you have to do is find someone running recent Tracemonkey code (that includes xulrunner, Firefox, Thunderbird, Songbird, anything that embeds Gecko, any Linux system with GNOME and a sufficiently recent libgjs installed, &c.) on a V8 or earlier Sparc processor.

Further details in bug 502369 comment 11. 😀