“I am sorry, very sorry, but a bicycle that has suffered this degree of damage cannot be repaired by any means that I know of.” *

(Subtitle: “Banach-Tarski! Banach-Tarski! Why isn’t this thing working?”)

My year-old road bike, now with a frame broken at the join point with the front stem, with the front wheel twisted around above its normal location for dramatic effect
Yes, I'm fine enough now — wasn't so great at the time, but it could have been much worse.

You might (and I think should) have a right to be stupid. That doesn’t mean you should use it. I repeat myself: wear a helmet. Don’t be an idiot.

Also amusing this long after the fact: this is what the police report describes as “moderate damage to the frame”.

Also relevant: this, although the mangled sound track makes me want to do violence to the current state of copyright law that doubtless makes it hard to find an unaltered copy.

* I don’t really know that it can’t be repaired. Although when I was walking back from retrieving the bike from the Palo Alto police, I stopped by Palo Alto Bicycles just for giggles to ask if it would need a new frame. I’ll give you one guess at the answer. I’m unsure exactly what I’m going to do with the bike, or to replace it, just yet.